Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
It's time to let it go
Hi, it’s Tree Langdon from Medium and Linked In.
As promised, here’s A New Word, An Idea, and A Question.
Photo by Dimitar Belchev on Unsplash
A New Word
This is where I share a word that should exist but doesn’t.
It’s a word we need, one that should be in the dictionary.
Definition of Perplexium
: a room where people go to sit and ponder deep questions.
: when you are confused, you are in a state of perplexium.
// Sometimes I go to the perplexium to sit and gather my thoughts.
// I stood there, in a state of perplexium, trying to remember why I was there.
It’s a place
in a country
in the middle
of the problems
in my mind.
A state of being,
on the inside
where the gate
to reveal my thoughts.
My outflowing signals
are baffling in the wind,
I’m becoming undone
in a meaningful sense.
I’m hanging on the hinges
disoriented by discovery.
A diagonal soul
in a parallel world.
I’ve been thinking about debris fields.
Everyone has one.
Our debris field is made up of past experiences, trauma, and pain that have resulted from living our lives.
Your debris field is like the space junk in our atmosphere. You want to throw it away, but it hasn’t left your orbit.
We don’t come with debris. We arrive full of joy and curiosity. The world is full of new and amazing experiences. Watch a baby as they gaze about in wonder.
The debris accumulates as we accumulate experiences.
We tell ourselves stories to reinforce those experiences. The stories might say ‘I’m not good enough, or ‘I could never learn how to do that.’
Stop fighting with your own shit, my friend.
It’s like Pigpen, in the Charlie Brown cartoon.
We travel around with this ball of dusty debris following us. The debris interacts with itself, making it larger. It can also interact with the debris fields of others, which can cause huge problems in a relationship.
One of the biggest debris fields you will ever have to navigate is your own.
Then there’s the debris field of judgment.
When we judge or argue with others, most likely it is our own debris that is causing the disagreement. We think we need to fight with the other person to prove them wrong, but we are just fighting with our own debris.
When you meet someone who holds a strong belief that’s widely different from your own, you can do one of two things:
make them wrong, or
allow them to have a different opinion.
If you make them wrong, you’re imposing your judgment. Your beliefs are your life experience, no one else’s. Your judgment wants to make the other person wrong in order to validate your point of view.
Let it go.
It’s never, ever about anyone else. It’s your debris.
What debris are you going to let go of for the new year?
I’d love to hear your answer.
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