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Biographies Are Boring As Sh*t

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Biographies Are Boring As Sh*t

How to write a magical biography

Tree Langdon
Nov 12, 2022
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Biographies Are Boring As Sh*t

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It’s Tree Langdon from Medium and Linked In.
a glass hand encircled by a golden ring
Photo by Axel Ruffini on Unsplash

Most people’s biographies make me go to sleep.

Lists of accomplishments, awards, and jobs you’ve held. Who cares.

I wanted to write something exciting. Something interesting.

For most of my life, I worked in business. The last two decades have been completely different.

I chose to make changes in my life that affected my perspective on most things, including myself. I traded my calculator for tools that leak magic onto the page.

Becoming open to new experiences allowed me to receive new concepts of living, and that allowed more expansion.

When I was asked to write another biography, I fell back into old habits. I listed my degrees and accomplishments.

Boring.

It wasn’t a biography of a creative, magical person.

I wanted to be able to weave spells with words, shaping them into containers that carried emotions into the minds and hearts of souls far away.

I realized I had to change my thoughts to shift my energy.

First, I brainstormed a list of all of the things I’d done in the past decade.

They included the big things:

  • joining an online writing class

  • breaking my wrist in Greece

  • getting a tattoo

  • undergoing major heart surgery

They also included simple things like:

  • gardening in my yard

  • going back to school

  • getting older

Every one of these events contained a lesson and a type of energy I could describe if I chose to see them in a new way.

Here’s how:

Joining an online writing class

I wanted to describe how much this class impacted me and how it changed my life, so I played with words until I came up with this:

“I found a community where I could be a version of myself that I didn’t know. I introduced myself to me; each of us was changed by the interaction.”

Breaking my wrist in Greece

This occurred at the top of Mount Ida. I’d stopped for a pee, and I swear I angered the gods. So this is what I wrote:

“The gods brought me insights into a country and its people by smiting me down at the top of a mountain so I could experience a glimpse of their lives as I lived my own.”

Getting a tattoo

This was an unusual step for me as I never imagined I would get one. I met an artist in Asia, and he drew an incredible ink scroll design on my arm. I loved it so much that I made it permanent. So this is what I wrote:

“I surrendered my arm to the sharpened point and felt the ink settle as the temple scroll design came to life.”

Undergoing major heart surgery

A serious event that required me to surrender control. That’s difficult for me.

“I let go of control and put my fate in the hands of surgeons and into the palms of the universe. It took a total release of all of my inputs into outcomes and full faith in healing.”

Gardening in my yard

One of my favorite places to be is in my garden.

‘I plunged my hands into the earth and placed an act of faith inside. I marveled at the magic of it all.”

Going back to school

As a senior, college was a challenge but the experience was entirely worthwhile." 

“I walked the halls of learning, trailing my fingertips along the walls, inhaling a sweet vanilla scent of books. I nerded out on skeletons, rot, and the lure of mystery, pondering the pieces of the puzzle created by the end of life.”

Getting older

This was a hard one. Older women tend to become more invisible and I didn’t want to be left behind.

“I rejected the invisibility cloak they assigned me, accepting a long purple dress of lace with glimpses of my youth. I learned to treat myself with gentle kindness as I navigated new passages and embraced new challenges.”

You get the idea.

Take the mundane and find the energy inside it. Choose words that describe your feelings at the time and create a magical Bio.

For more great examples, check this article. I dare you to figure out what events are being described.

A Unicorn, a Whale, and a Cloak of Invisibility * My Bio and a Bit of Prose


On Medium…

How to Feed Your Writing Mind

How to Use Substack Blurbs to Get Subscribers

How Blue Zone Habits Help You Live Longer (my all-time most popular post)

Things I’m Enjoying…

Today’s Deals

Start with what, not why

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Biographies Are Boring As Sh*t

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6 Comments
Alex Olthoff
Writes WFA Success
Nov 13, 2022Liked by Tree Langdon

Very cool Tree, especially love the story about Greece! Funny how these rather dramatic moments can make such a big difference in how we see ourselves.

Also, I just want to say, going back to school doesn't seem so simple! Props to you, I think that's very cool to do at an older age, shows your commitment to always growing

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Terry Mansfield
Writes The Write Stuff by Terry Mansfi…
Nov 13, 2022Liked by Tree Langdon

Loved your article. You write sentences that capture our imagination.

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