Conflicting Positions Alive In My Mind

a Poem written and edited live

If I say yes
when I really mean no,
or I tell you no
when I mean to say yes,

my actions are born
from an inner intention,
each answer responds
to a tentative question.

Conflicting positions
are alive in my mind;
as knot made of burdens,
sheltered within my protection.

This curated collection of beliefs
preserves my emotions
as justifications live
in a refuge of lies.

I carry these bundles,
in a dwindling light
as the long night arrives
in the season of life.

I set them on paper
to let them release
as their tentacles cling to
the backs of my teeth.

I’m in a meander
and ponder the trap
reluctant to shed them
to purchase some peace.

Revealing my thoughts
is an outflowing sign;
an efference note,
of a well-copied song
that I sing to myself.

Reciting my story
disburses its weight.
I listen on replay
to soften the sting.

Their powers disburse
with each of my tunes
I learn a new language.
and soak up new words.

They tumble in circles
from Heart to my Breath
soft as a memory
of speaking my truth.

When hearing their echo
returns me to now
your careful acceptance
provides a reprieve.

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I wrote this poem LIVE in the following article, where I reveal what I did at the various stages of writing it.

…. And yes, I did edit it again, when I published it here.