From Lonely to Loved: Using a List to Attract a Partner
From Lonely to Loved: Using a List to Attract a Partner
from the archives
This might come off as mercenary or crass - using a list to attract a partner!
But we use lists to debate the pros and cons of many things in life. Lists have always been an effective tool for me, so I figured - why not try it here?
Do you attract such a small number of lovers that it’s embarrassing?
And do the ones you manage to attract never come back for more? Even if you think you’re stellar in bed, you might be driving away potential mates.
If one key thing is missing or done without care, your lovers may feel neglected. It may stop you from attracting others in the first place.
Here are some ways to use a list to help you improve your sex life and attract a long-term partner.
Lists Are Powerful Tools
Yes, you can make a list of your sex life. It can be a pro/con list or a list of things you would like to change. Be creative.
A list allows you to organize your thoughts in one place. Writing things down makes your ideas more concrete. When you look at them with fresh eyes, you might find yourself being more honest with yourself.
Discover What You Want
Start by listing things you would like to achieve in a long-term relationship and rank them. If marriage and a family are important to you, jot that down. If you want a short-term relationship, that’s fine as well. If you are clear about what you want, you won’t send out confusing signals.
It’s possible to get what you want in a relationship. Write down everything you imagine about your future partner. If you can see every detail in your mind, you will attract them.
Lists Remind You of What You Don’t Want
I used to attract angry partners. There was one person who couldn’t have a conversation without debating the facts. When I found myself in another argument about something irrelevant I realized I didn’t want to live like that.
I knew I didn’t have to choose a relationship full of conflict.
Lists Help You Create Better Relationships
A list is easy to create and simple to understand. It’s a great tool for reflection. If you continue with a list-making habit, you will find certain themes will start to appear.
Your choices will change and so will your sex life.
Learn to Listen
Listening to another person is a great way to show you care. It’s important to listen without judgment. The things you judge about someone else often reveal something about yourself.
Use a List to Celebrate.
Jotting down small details will help you find ways to create personal moments. You’ll find yourself sharing little inside jokes with your partner. Learn what is special to them. Make a note of special dates or events and celebrate them.
When you celebrate small wins, you’re letting them know you care.
Turn your dreams into reality today.
Have you ever used a list to clarify what you really want in a situation?
What types of lists do you find most helpful (to-do lists, pro/con lists, goal lists)?
Do you think creating a list of qualities you want in a partner could help you attract the right person or am I completely off base?
How often do you review your lists?
When have you made a list that helped you achieve something significant? If so, what was it?
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts in the comments!
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You are spot on with the list idea! My late husband, who had been divorced once, told me at some point in our first year of marriage, that he had a list of what his next partner needed to have. At first I thought that sounded stupid. I met his entire list. We were married 22 years before health issues took him away. Even if I don't make physical lists, I am constantly making mental ones.